Destination: Motherhood the 2nd Time

– Becoming a Mama to Two Boys –

Devin and I haven’t exactly agreed on how many kids we want, he always said he wanted 2 or 3, I said 3 or 4, so we knew we’d have at least 2 and then decide from there. One thing we both agreed on is we wanted the kids to be close in age, so said when Hudson was around 1 we’d think about it and try for number 2.

And for the second time, there wasn’t really a trial period, it happened right away. I tried to change my mind, saying we should probably wait off a bit longer until we got our housing situation figured out, we were still living in a one bedroom apartment, but I already knew we were pregnant. Sure enough a week or so later, an expired pregnancy test had an extremely light faded line which confirmed baby number two was on the way.

When we went in for the 8 week appointment I actually had two sacs developing, but only one had a fetus inside with a heartbeat, and was told the other sac would be absorbed by my body within the next few weeks. And I was perfectly ok with that, I never looked at it as a loss, to me it hadn’t developed, and quite frankly I was not ready to have 3 kids under 2!

Our next ultrasound revealed we were having a second boy, and while at first I was slightly bummed because we want to have a girl, I then became so excited to have two boys so close together in age. I just imagine all the craziness that is going to ensue as they grow up, all the shenanigans they are going to get into and how they are going to stress me out, and for me its that perfect bit of chaos I need. Plus I already had all the clothes so it was perfect!

My pregnancy again was super easy and boring, which in terms of pregnancy is a great thing. But it was a bit different than my first. For one, I was exhausted and nauseous all day long, but had a wild and crazy one and a half year old who needed my attention. So while the first time around I was able to nap, the second time around I had to beg my toddler to lay down so I could rest, or sometimes just close my eyes and pray the house was still there when I woke up. My belly popped out a lot faster the second time, so there was no hiding it for as long, but for me, it almost paused growing more until close to the very end. The second time around I had an anterior placenta, which made it harder to fill the kicks and movement, which can be worrisome. It’s perfectly normal and happens to so many pregnancies, but at a certain stage it’s reassuring to feel the movements, and when you can’t, it makes you second guess everything. I just had to stay positive everything was ok.

Overall, I can’t complain about my pregnancy. And for the second time, I had to wait past my due date to meet my little guy, 5 days to be exact. The night I went into labor, I had an appointment earlier that afternoon, and my Doctor told me I probably wouldn’t make it past the weekend, but if I did we could schedule an induction the following week. Sure enough he was right, I didn’t make it past the weekend, I didn’t make it past that night!

Sitting down to eat dinner I felt crampy, but I just brushed it off as a result from the membrane sweep earlier, but when it continued to increase in intensity I figured I better get showered and shaved in case it was the real deal. While in the bath I started googling about contractions, timing them and finally realized after about 30 minutes this was it, I was going into labor! (I was induced the first time around, so I had no idea what going into labor on my own would feel like).  The small problem was, Devin in an attempt to let me relax in the bath, walked Hudson to the park, so when I called to say you better come home it’s time to go, was about 10 minutes away and had a huge hill he had to run up. By the time he got here he was winded and franticly throwing the bags into the car.

I also had chosen to keep my same OB and deliver at Mission Hospital in Mission Viejo even though we lived 45 minutes away in Murrieta. That 45 minutes on the Ortega was the most painfully excruciating drive of my life. The first words out of my mouth were, “How soon till my epidural?”, which literally took about an hour and a half to get. I was already dilated at a 6 at checkin, so wanted it desperately, but had to wait until they did all the admitting blood and paperwork.

Once I finally got my epidural, thanks to my Doctor coming in and saying she needs her epidural now, I was able to relax a bit. The on call doctor came by and broke my water and said, by 11 PM tonight you’ll have your baby, and he was right!

With a minute to spare, Graham Elliot Carrillo was born at 10:59 PM on April 5, 2018. Weighing 6 pounds 13 oz and measuring 20.5 inches long, it was love at first sight.

The labor went by so fast, in comparison to the 23 hours with Hudson, 5 hours with Graham was a breeze. I actually was given medicine to slow my labor down, and when I finally felt the urge to push, it was a few big pushes and he was out. My experience the second time around left me feeling like ok I got this, I’m a pro who knows what they are doing, and I can totally do this again a 3rd time.

I noticed Graham’s dimples right away. It was the one trait I wanted Hudson to have so bad that he didn’t get, so I was excited to notice the slightest dimples on Graham when he was nursing. He too looked a lot like Devin, and also had my nose, everyone said he was like Hudson’s twin, and while they do look similar and make some of the same expressions, as the mom, I think they are completely different!

The next morning Hudson came to visit, and while he was scared at first, there was an instant bond between the boys. And 9 months later, nothing has changed. Hudson wakes up and says “Hi Bro” before he acknowledges me, gives him hugs and kisses and wants to hold and carry his baby bro around. Don’t get me wrong, there are days where he hits him and is a little shit, but for the most part he is an amazing older brother that is so happy to have a baby brother, which makes it all so worth it.

Expanding our family just felt right, and I am so glad we did it when we did, and while we are compete for now, eventually we will add one more Carrillo to the Crew. But for now its the Adventures of Doc and Dre, and Hudson and Graham.